i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
