I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
