Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
