You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
