Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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