either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
