She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize