he thought i was a dude.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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