Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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