We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
