i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
