I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
