my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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