If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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