I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
