you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
