Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
