she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
