im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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