Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Randomize