Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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