So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
