what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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