You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
