We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
