So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
