and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Randomize
