Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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