So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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