marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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