He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
