I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I want you more than these girls want KFC
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize