If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
