so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
