its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
