Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
