She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
