Nicole vs. Life
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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