This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
