I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
