Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i just had sex bonerless
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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