NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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