How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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