Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
