I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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