Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
