I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
