i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize