So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
