Grow some girl-balls and come out already
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just forgot I was standing up.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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