After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
