I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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