Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
