I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We have started to decorate penises.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize