guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
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