there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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