Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
drinking out of a sandbucket again
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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