Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
