When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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