we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
