apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Damn victory sex feels great
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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