The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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