your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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