We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
