My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I can't turn off my feet"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
