Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
