D3 body, D1 cock
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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