It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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