i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
